Connor's not the kid that you could put down and he'll independently play. Actually, he plays well independently but with all the wrong things. Though he has a hundred toys, he loves wires, electrical outlets, tall pieces of unsecured furniture, and I caught him the other day underneath our buffet table in the dining room. It's about 18" underneath, he was wedged under and completely stuck. I thought I was going to have to call the fire department to extract him - it really was that bad.
So there's no chance of working at home with him at my feet. Mostly because he doesn't stay at my feetand he just gets into everything he shouldn't. Consequently I don't work when he's around. I quickly learned that I can only work during naptime. Naptime is now a mad dash to do everything I possibly can. What I used to be able to accomplish in 6 hours, now has to be crammed into 1.5 hours, 2 if I am lucky.
Here's what I have accomplished in the last 4 days as a Stay At Home Mom.
- 6 loads of laundry (I have never been so on top of laundry!)
- Bleached my toilets & took a magic eraser to the walls of my kitchen - man, that thing works!
- Cleaned out the water table toy that has been outside for the last 2 years
- Made sugar cookies with Molly
- Worked on Connor's 4 month photo book
- Went to Target and bought sippy cups.
- Paid some bills. Wait - that's on today's list of things to do and I am dreading that.
Truthfully, I am not the stay-at-home Mom type. I actually like working. I derive a lot of self-worth from my career and I am highly motivated. I get a lot of satisfaction and enjoy being a part of a business or seeing something succeed outside of my children.
So I am busy figuring out what's next and exploring all my options. No possibility is being discounted. There are a lot of interesting opportunities out there and we will just have to see what's the best one and have faith that everything is just going to work out.
In the meantime, I am going to work on keeping my mood stable and really, really enjoying this precious time with Connor (and Molly when she's home and not in camps this summer.) When he's awake, I am all his and he is all mine. We'll never get this time back and we won't have it forever. And aren't we lucky? And during naps, I'll drink a lot of coffee and accomplish a lot. While everything's a bit unsure and unknown, I am so blessed to have these kids and my husband. (And my mom who is incredibly supportive.) Because if you don't have family, you're missing a lot.